Square One!

So here i am..stucked at the bottom pit again!...Back to square one..

I don seem to be able to stay in the right track always..One week i am celebrating my success.. Another week i am lamenting my poor luck..It just seems that i can never be happy till i really get the answers i want..or maybe..let me put it in another way..

I can never be happy unless i can really achieve what ever i desired!..Last week's match was my morale booster..and this week match was a very big nightmare..5-1 was the score..

The defeat did felt bad..Kutti trusted me and give me the nod ahead of the match to play goalkeeper..A fabulous 1st half soon marred into a nightmarish 2nd half..Letting in four goals in second half was bad enough to pull my general level of confidence to the bottom end..Congratz to the opponent..They took their chance and dictate play..While we just didn't had the killer instinct..Kutti limped off..Sarvesh took a blow to his rib..Vicky had his knee covered in bruises..I had my hand scratched from the vain dives in the hard soil...Communication was the word that simply wasn't in anyone's mind today..for me..the effort i put in was overlooked by the goals that i conceded..and it successfully helps my confidence level to plunge even deeply.

Obviousli it is a learning experience and looking at it in such point of view does help me feel better..If everyone is thinking tat the defeat is the main reason why i feel so deeply down..i have to say that it isn't jus that...There is more to it...

Some seriousli 'shocking discoveries' that i discovered recently surely add on to my miseries.. Sureli it does no help to me...I dont wish to share this 'shocking discoveries' as i want it to be personal but surely one day i would open it up...

one day?