Motivating One!

Phew..i am relieved!..i manage to rope in a new partner!..Justin Anil Dharmaraj!

I was talking to him during the first breakout and he was sharing with me on some tips on losing weight..It seemed helpful..and i am seriousli gonna give it a try..I told Justin that we seriousli need to lose weight and he seem to be quite interested too..

I started surfing the net to find out more information on losing weights and came across several websites which seem to help me..Vicnes was already disturbing me by showing obese people as example..I also challenged him tat i will really slim down!..Its damn irritating to see all the clothes that used to fit me last semester seem to be tighter this semester..

I have to lose weight and i am really gonna start my training from tomorrow!..

Let it be in any means but i am just gonna really push myself!...

and one more thing..i am officially pissed off with my hair and never ever going to cut mallet or comb mohwak!..grrrr!

Weight Issues!

SHIT!... I AM FAT!!...argh!!

That is really something morally degrading!..argh!!

Just over the holidays itself, i gained 8kgs to 10kgs!..i was weighing about 70kgs way back before the holidays..and now..i am weighin an astonishing 80kgs!..thanks to all the mutton, chicken, eggs, the numerous cans of beer and hard liqour bottles!..shit!..i do regret now!..

How i wish i was going to gym with ahil like last time...the feeling after working out was so shiok!..and i have seriously made up my mind..I wanna lose my weight!..my birthday is arriving in less than a month!..and my short term aim is to lose all excess fats i gained!..at least 10kgs!..

Ya...i knoe i can be easily demotivated and i am very easy to be distracted..but then...i am serious on accomplising this short term aim i have set myself!..It is so irritating to see yourself in the mirror with a non proportionate body..and i have to set everything rite!..


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The Lousy Feelings

Its time for me again to feel the kind of feelings which tries to make me feel down and lousy; Lousy feelings...

First of all..i shall send my condolences to Oswind..Take care brother..we will be there for you always..:)

and now back to my point..yeap..i seriousli feel very down and lousy today...i think all the guys knoe why i was like tat..most of them understand except for Jaya..as usual he poked fun at me even though knowing that it is something not to be laughed at..However i don feel angry about it as it is his character and i know he did not mean any harm..

I cannot stand the sight..seriousli..i felt like i shouldn't be there!..i felt like digging a hole in the ground and bury myself inside till everyone leaves..Seriousli it is the most fucked typed feeling..shit..i guess i need to really take some serious decisions for myself..i have given myself enough time to think about it and i think i need to make a sound decision before it goes beyond control..I dunno why people tend to laugh over such serious issues especially if one is really not having a good time over it..Put urself in their shoes and you will know that you can never fit exactly into it..

i am awaiting for the right time to bid my goodbye..but then..its for everyone's good..


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P.S: This is NOT an emo post!

Getting over..

Finally i cut my hair..=)

1 week of school is over and i have got Bs as daily grades for all the modules. It actually makes me feel happy to see all Bs in black once i open the LEO..My classmates are kinda cool and i do like the environment even though most of them are splitted in their own group frens..Its just one week and there are many weeks to go..so everyone should be able to bond well soon.

My PP got approved and i was damn happy as i manage to do it in just the last 3 days forcing myself to really get the right thing...but it was indeed tooooooo long..4267 words to be exact...its more than double times the number of words set by the PP advisors..I think the PP advisor didn't even bothered to read it since its too long..even i myself just took a glance through it before i submitted..hehehe..

Life seems to be back in track with funny frens who just can't stop poking fun or do stupid laughable stuffs..I am managing to get over the disappointments i had during the holidays..There are always the constant reminders of it but i am adapting now..but still...i regret..i really do regret and wonder what i could have done in order to avoid such a miserable situation..

Working with Dinmak during the nite shifts on Saturday and Sunday were damn fabulous..i enjoyed every bit of it..we shared alot of things and we get to understand each other more now.. he did told me certain stuffs and advised me..I just only realized that dinmak is indeed a very good advisor..hahaha..

i cut my hair and i am damn happy since it was damn thick and itchy..now its just short nice..and i even get compliments for my new hairstyle..weeweee!..its very rare to get as i am always categorized for not combing my hair and just let it be messy..and now its nicely combed..=)

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and now this part of the post is for Shantni..

Dear Shantni..you are brave gal now..ur bitter + sweet experiences are now good lessons for you..don't ever repeat the same mistakes..Time will answer your calls and wishes..You got frens whu care abt you..Just take your own time and enjoy life for now..You are just 19 and you have a long road ahead of urself..i am not going to advise you on what you are supposed to do and not.. Only you yourself knows you better...i believe that you will come good again and be like the same old shantni who just know how to take life as it is..Any problems or stuffs that you wanna share..you can always count on me to lend a listening ear and a helping hand..

Shan Baby Shan..:)

New Sem! New class! New Life!

Finally school has started and i am so happy to go back to school..Finally back to frens and tis time round i am just gonna go by the flow and i am not gonna make promises to myself..I have totally discarded certain people and have already started to avoid them..i have my own reasons and it is sensible enough for me..I am pissed off with people who just asks for help and disappear after its done..or people who 'step' to attract attention..and i have already identified these people and you can soon see me drifiting away from u all..I no need anyone other than my frens whu still cares for till this years!..HVB!..

New semester leads me to a new class..W26J..yeap..it does actually carry half of my previous classmates and i am in the same class as Dinmak again..haha..smething beneficial for me..it is always nice to have dinmak around..Ridwan was a bastard in the first day of class when the faci ask all the students to introduce themselve by saying wats their name, where they stay and wat is the expection for the module..He stood up and said "My name is ridwan and i am staying with Anand in his house together with him and my expectation for the module is to see joshua everyday in class.."..the class started laughin and i was like 'eerrr..uhhh..embarrased!'..while dinmak was grinning..funny people..Other than tat.the class look indeed cool..need some a little bit more of time to bond..=)

I am again back with dinesh and raja all and its always nice to be with them..laughters and more laughters..indeed a cool group of people..about my own personal life..i have decided to stop interfering in sensitive issues like gals..relationships and etc..Ahil may know the reason coz i was complaining to him..Vicnes should also have a slight understanding of it too as he was a push factor..My only advise for u all..

"Its ur life people..you wanna get doomed, just get urself doomed..you wanna go in the right path, jolly well follow it.."..

Peace!

Basics please?

People..GET A DAMN LIFE!..

I just dunno why but i cant help it..seriousli speakin i am just simply irritated with people who are trying to act new..try to gain attention..try to make oneself look like hero or heroine who always faces immense difficulties even if they are the only soul in the world who does only good stuffs..FUCK YOU morons!..seriousli u all need some serious counselling..

Suddenli i have been seein people pop out from no where who really seem strange..Its like not the same person i knew before..please lah people..don't make urself seem a super human who just only does the good things..everyone has their own falls and ups..stop always lamenting your falls and make urself look very pitiful..especially the ones in relationships..

i can understand that putting your status as 'It's complicated' is kinda a new trend even though i dunno where it orginated from and why its cool...Wat is so trendy or cool about it?...and..and..please uh..don't try to act emo online when u are facing a failed relationship by blogging online such as 'taking sleeping pills', 'slitting the wrists', 'sitting near the ledge of the window'..my only reaction for you all is...JUST DO IT PROPERLY!..wats the point of taking alot of sleeping pills when you know tat you won't die?..wats the point of slitting your wrists when you knoe which area will have the less impact on the pain?..and wat is the point sitting near the ledge of your window when you know you don't dare jump?..

Think........

and you all got the cheek to blog it online..put it as your Facebook Status..or as msn personal messages?..bunch of attention seekers..trying to seek attention for your failed attempts and make yourself look like some superheroes? Seek attention for the right reasons people..i am not saying tat don't eva blog about your relationships...blog..but blog for the right purpose.. Condemning your partner in one post and praising the person in another doesn't help..being indirect in conveying your messages about your relationship does help..so please understand..

i know that this post may cause some controversies..but then..

i jus fucking hell DON'T care!