Finally

At sentosa

Finally i can see some glimpses of positive things coming about..and its somethin to cheer about..After all, for sometime i have been going around lamenting my misfortunes..and currently its nice to be in a better position compared to that miserable situations...

One such morale boosting incident is today's soccer match..It's such a morale booster..an eye opener..maybe a successful test of my abilities..Yea..we won..5-2..compared to the strength in our opponents team..its a great result..All were 19 years old and above..Most of them were even NS regulars!..damn fit!

My position: Goalkeeper..Gerard didn come..so i had to take over that position..Obviousli no one did trust that i can play well in that position..Somethin that isn't surprising to me..My performances in the past didn contribute to my defense...all i need is some concrete evidence that i am not a bad player..

and today's match proved me that i am not hopeless..and i am so freakin happy that i was commended by everyone..even the opponents..but all credits go to Mama Nigger and Kutti..They realli motivated me very well from the beginning of the match....Obviousli the other players did congratulate me when i made good saves or played smartly..Thanks Broz..I am just so happy!

Now its back to school..i have re-establised relationships with alot of people leaving my ego in a dead end..and i am happy that i am again trying my best to do well in my studies..All i need now is some consistency and i am sure that i will go in the right track soon..

and ya..to my Bestie

Happy 18th Birthday Bharu..
so some one finally 18 lah..haha!..

Losing

After a day wasted in school..i was feelin bad tat i didn gain anythin frm the lesson 2dae..And i realized tat i didn even take the effort to open the Problem Statement for the day!..i was jus not motivated to study nor was i be able to focus...Feelin a little fucked type from some incidents..i was jus not in the state to study..was jus chattin wif Maya D'Souza the whole day and just lepakin..It can be jus written off as a day wasted in school!..

I jus seem to lose the plot...i jus feel like giving up...I jus dont feel motivated to do well..Even though its nice to see my grades being constant this semester..the performance i gave in the last two lessons i attended realli wasn't up to satisfactory..and it jus seem that it can worsen...

Lookin around me..most of them have taken their studies seriousli except for few..Havin to face alot of obstacles..i am jus not in the right state to have a positive approach or studies..I jus seem to lose alot of support..Luckily there are some kind souls who realli do understand my situation and i am thankful for that..

All I jus need is some counsellin now..
This is a dark period of my life with jus some glimpses of brightness in the form of some good souls..but the point rite now is tat...


I am just LOSING!..

Chao Class

Bananas for Peranakan Monkey...

So for the second time in this semester i left class half way..The first time came in the first week of the lesson. However that was an emergency and somethin tat was important.I don't regret leaving for that. However today was a different situation. I still wondering whether if i had stayed through out i would have maintain my good string of grades.To get 8 Bs and 1 C in 9 lessons was somethin that i dreamt off and i was acually kinda happy that at least this semester i am proving consistency.The 1 C was a result of leaving class half way through.

Coming back to today, i still feelin the pain of losing a good grade. Coming to school today in the mornin was very very different from me. Walkin to school without the usual gang of Kavitha, Reena, Rubini, Ahil and Kamini made me feel lonely..Looking at the current situation and the mess that i have made, i realli losed my motivation to attend school..I realized that i was walkin extremeli slow today as my pace dropped..alot of people whu were way back me overtook me as i jus put on the "i-need-some-breathin-space" reaction..

Thinkin of alot of issues and confusing myself...i was jus nt myself..In class i wasn't able to concentrate as i was jus thinkin and thinkin..and one look at the MSN contact list jus made me feel that i should be at home..Jaya..Muhes..Ahil wasn't in school..Dinmak wasn't in class..and onli 1 thought was in my mind..."Pack up ur bag and leave"...and i jus did tat..

Ahil called me to his house..Tat was a good morale booster..We were laughin out..Playin around and disturbin Kamini in Facebook and MSN..and i did feel better..Thanks Mike!!...

and now i am in front of the laptop...back to square one...jus regrettin everythin that is happenin now..the question in my mind now ..

WHERE THE HELL IS PEACE???

SetBacks

MyHotComments

Lookin at the current things that are happenin around me..i got to admit that i am realli facin alot of troubles...Setbacks would be a better word to describe...I am facing alot of it indeed...

I am still reelin frm the sudden death of my fav aunty..It always hurts to knoe that we may nvr be able to see the person again after their death..It is hard to face the reality..and i have to admit that its gonna be hard for me not to think of her..

You always be loved Aunty...

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Having a new mentality isn't goin to make any difference when a person refuse to ignore the bitter facts of past...and in my case..i jus have to admit that i am playing a losing battle..With the aid of my best companians..i am walkin on top of a thin line..the people that i am expecting to remember me are leavin me alone..out in the dark..its jus too late....

Setbacks!!...a word that i hate so much currently..I have jus lost interest in everythin around me..I hate to be an emo actualli..esp after knowin that emoin isn't cool stuff...

BUT my situation is such that i jus feel like throwin out all my emotions right now...All i know is..

I am not facin the brightest time of all..and i have to admit that my morale took severe beatin that i am still reelin back from alot of morale degrading incidents..

...........May all setbacks have a reason...........

School Starts..

My journey for the next step in education has officially started..After a 3 month holidays that i spend by working had come to an end..and now the rest of the next 2 moths plus will be at school..

I jus found out my class for the Year 2 in the mornin of Monday..I did know that Dinmak and i were in the same class but i wasn motivated to find out wat was really my class..and in the mornin after findin out i found that there is a majority of male gender that conquers the class.. Mayb about 17 or 18?...

So based on the 2 days of lesson that i attended,i gotta admit that i like my new class's atmoshpere..However as it is just 2 days, there is an uneasy feeling in everyone's face as we still need some time to bond..

So wat abt my work?
Currently i don't have any intention to quit as i realli love the ppl there and they have also requested me not to quit...So i have jus decided i should work on Wednesdays, Saturdays and Sundays..Maybe i would consider about Saturday as i am tempted to play with Kutti and some of the frens, soccer at Yishun..The street soccer court located at the Ah Tong Field is the venue..

Ok then..will be back again..

Birthday Wishes

So here comes my 1st post for the month of April...and i would like to start with a birthday wish..So who is the Birthday Star??

Vicky and Jaya

I know that tis post is already a few days late but i didn log into my account for a very long time..Sorry abt tat Brother...

So here is my B'dae wishes:

HAPPY 18TH BIRTHDAY JAYA...
God bless you my Brother..Hoping for many great success as years to come with your loved ones..

SO this guy whu has been a very gd fren of mine for the past 5yrs has finally turn 18....So some description abt tis very handsome fren of mine...

The most funniest guy i hav ever known..

A good listener too..

The only fella that i shared the same classes for the whole of Secondary School..

A very good natured fella who had helped me out in numerous situations..

An intelligent guy who realli can come out great solutions out of nowhere...

A soccer star who realli is jus so gifted that i have been jealous of him alot of time..

A great fren tat a person could dream of and i am lucky that he is my fren..

So once again..HAPPY BIRTHDAY JAYA


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So here comes the next part of my post..

Muhes for the 1st time took Kavadi for Panguni and it was after a long time that i am seein my Seconday school frens and we did had a good time had Panguni...Sorry tat i culdn attach pictures as Muhes still haven uploaded..Maybe prehaps inthe near future i would upload it in another post..

So abt the situation there..it was realli fun but its jus a pity tat i had to leave earlier as i had night shift that night thanx largely to my freakin in-charge who couldn excuse me for that day even though i had already informed that i am unable to come..

Coming back to the Panguni...Muhes realli manage to endure the pressure and it was realli impressive..In total it was realli a great event and hopefulli next time round i can realli enjoy the atmosphere for a longer time..

Ok now back to my usual routine...Sleep...

Bloggin..

Its been another day where i am starin the laptop infront of me with numerous confusing things runnin across my mind...but i think bloggin isn't a gd idea to express my ideas actualli..

So let me think...hmmm...i seriousli hav no reasons or anythin interestin to blog abt..its kinda of a borin life i am leadin now..Home and Sentosa...the onli two places wher my mind is revolving around..

Work Related Updates....
My best buddy at work Kumar quit..and 'Panda' oso quit..Kok Lun quitin in 7 days..Sharifah quitin in 2 weeks time..Fatin got sacked..Reena and Aminah roster decreased to jus 2 days work per week..all the close frens and buddies i had there r goin off or either get their roster decreased..Its kinda sad tat a good team is breakin apart but then tats the reality...

20 April is fast approachin and i would be in sch in no time..Talkin abt sch...i am still unsure whether i am lookin forward for it or not..At times i do feel tat i need school to answer some disturbin questions abt certain issues i am currently facin but then at times..i do feel tat school will jus multiply my questions rather than decrease it...

ok..i think tats jus nice..i hav no more mood to type nor the ability to churn out more crappy issues out of my freakin mind...

If u guys feel tat i am realli being a emo..Sorry for that..but my situation is in such...